dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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