Small penises have feelings too.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
