My room smells like vodka and shame
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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