i think my tv is drunk
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
