I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
