I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize