i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
In other news, I just burned my penis
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
