I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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