so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize