Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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