I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize