Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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