We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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