I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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