After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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