All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You can't just leave with hair like that
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize