And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
