I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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