Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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