How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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