If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
