u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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