literally had 100 drinks last night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
