I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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