Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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