then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
time to smoke my breakfast
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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