i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
