I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I would ride that face into the sunset
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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