Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
