Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
