Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize