watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize