I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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