I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
porn star boner night. come get it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Found your dick twin last night
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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