i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am available for nakedness
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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