Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
