they need to just BURY HIM!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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