I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
