i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
