3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
