I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
