Screwed.edu
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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