Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize