Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
