when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize