David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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