im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
