around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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