NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
