she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
