She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
