marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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