I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize