why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
