I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
