She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
