Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
