jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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