You really coming over, don't trick.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
