woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize