Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
