When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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