she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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