Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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