Nicole vs. Life
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
